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Spymate


I know some will find my two star rating here incredible, as most reviews will go with single or even zero stars. There’s even a dude on IMDb calling it “the worst movie I have ever seen”, and I can’t say that I blame him.

I mean, just the synopsis baffles the mind: an ex-spy monkey now working as a trapeze artist must go back in the field when the science whiz daughter of his old partner is kidnapped by a mad doctor who wants to use her laser drill prototype to get to the earth’s core through a volcano in Japan to harness its energy.

Not insane enough? Picture this: our chimp hero doesn’t just go around doing 007 stuff in a smoking, he also swordfights with Arab terrorists, escapes from a bald albino scar-faced henchman on a skateboard Marty McFly-style, flies down with a jetpack to save Guillaume Lemay-Thivierge (get another agent, bro!) from a deadly fall, hangs from under a helicopter, outruns an avalanche on a snowboard, mountain-climbs, trains with ninjas led by Pat “Mr. Miyagi” Morita and in the obligatory animal movie dream sequence, talks, dances and sings reggae!

This sounds like the stupidest flick of all time, like a throwaway joke on The Simpsons (“They’re showing ‘Hail to the Chimp’!”), and stupid it is. Plus it’s not very well directed, the special effects are uneven and the acting is generally hammy. So why the two stars? Because as idiotic as “Spymate” is, I can’t deny that I had a good time watching it. Sure, it was mostly so-bad-it’s-good fun but still, that’s worth something. Hey, either the idea of a monkey secret agent makes you laugh or it doesn’t.

“It’s that darn monkey! He’s highly trained!”
“Look, I pay you for your expertise, you can handle a monkey!”