Stuck on You


I love every single Farrelly brothers flick. There, I said it. Wait, did I say “love”? That’s actually not true anymore. “Stuck on You” ain’t crap on a stick, but I unfortunately don’t love it either. Like the bros’ previous outings, it’s got much good spirit and heart, but it just ain’t that enjoyable.

Walt (Greg Kinnear) and Bob Tenor (Matt Damon) are conjoined twins (not Siamese, American) who live a happy life in Martha’s Vineyard, playing hockey, football, baseball and running a Quikee Burger joint. Things get more complicated when struggling actor Walt decides to take his dream to Hollywood to the great dismay of his brother, who suffers from wicked bad panic attacks.

The two attached siblings are mismatched in many ways, which leads to many conjoined gags that are mostly smile-worthy but hardly laugh-out-loud funny. Which is not to say that the movie is offensive or particularly politically incorrect: the thing about all the handicapped and “different” people in these movies is that while they’re poked a little fun at, it’s obvious the Farrelly brothers feel much affection towards them.

The story somehow zigs-zags into the trailer of Cher (amusingly playing herself), who picks Walter as her leading man for Honey and the Beaze, a TV show she wants to see fail. Of course, like Springtime for Hitler and other must-fail projects, it actually becomes a big hit!

This is a half-clever premise, but the Farrellys don’t push it into their usual so-wrong-it’s-right zone. It’s like they’re second-guessing themselves, putting their laudable inclusiveness before their dedication to comedy. This makes for a movie that’s not unenjoyable, but where the laughs are few and far between. Damon and Kinnear play well off each other, but it just doesn’t build up towards anything all that worthwhile.

The supporting cast is particularly wasted. Eva Mendes is impossibly charismatic and she hints at a good sense of comic timing, but she’s given precious little to do. I bet the Farrellys’ direction often stopped at “Greg, Matt, do something stupid! Eva, stand over there and be hot!” Likewise, Meryl Streep is game enough to take part in a killer musical number, but it barely has anything to do with the conjoined brothers or anything that came before.

“Stuck on You” has its moments, but none of them register as highly as what we’ve come to expect from the Farrellys. Where are the bodily fluids? Where are the brutally honest moments? Where are the ridiculously crude lines? Comedy with heart is nice, but not if it gets in the way of the laughs.